


And love forever still repeats in my head

by GreenFish



Category: Dancing with the Stars (US) RPF, Figure Skating RPF
Genre: F/M, Passive-aggression, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-17
Updated: 2014-06-17
Packaged: 2018-02-05 00:33:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1798963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreenFish/pseuds/GreenFish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While on separate vacations in Hawaii, Charlie and Meryl run into each other, and are reminded of a promise they made to each other years ago.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And love forever still repeats in my head

**Author's Note:**

> This story was inspired by my theory that while Meryl and Charlie claim they don't argue, I actually think they fight a lot of battles through passive-aggression. I also loved the idea that they might run into each other while they were on their _separate_ vacations. 
> 
> Much thanks and gratitude to [footnoterphone](http://archiveofourown.org/users/footnoterphone/pseuds/footnoterphone), who graciously agreed to beta this for me and did a fantastic job at it, picking it apart in the best way possible. I cannot thank you enough.
> 
> Comments always appreciated. Thank you for reading.

===

And love forever still repeats in my head  
You can't finish what you start  
If this is love, it breaks my heart

 _Promises, Promises_ \- Naked Eyes

===

 

 **Rob’s Good Times Grill – Lihue, Kauai, HI– 6-9-14  2:15 pm**  

“So, wait.  Explain to me again why we’re going to this place?” Tanith asked with a sigh.  She peered at him over her oversized sunglasses.  She attempted to look stern, but the corner of her mouth twitched upward as she looked at him.

“C’mon, Tan,” Charlie grinned.  “I am at the top of the brackets for the Stanley Cup Celebrity Challenge.  This is an important game in the playoffs and I just want to catch at least _one_ game on real TV.” Charlie leaned over and kissed her on the cheek as he held the door open for her.   

“OK, but you know you owe me one,” she said, making a face as she stepped through the door. 

It was a fairly typical bar, packed with locals, nary a tourist in sight.  Charlie spotted a number of people wearing Kings jerseys.  He felt a flicker of surprise, before realizing that L.A. was probably the closest hockey city to the island.  He was surprised people in Hawaii even followed hockey.   _Sports fans were universal_ , he supposed. 

Personally, he was pulling for the Rangers (after all, he had family in New York), but made a mental note to be careful not to piss off the large group of fully sloshed Kings fans huddled in the corner.  They already had several pitchers of beer on the table and the game hadn’t even started, so he steered Tanith over to a table on the opposite end of the bar, and they started looking over the menus.  Charlie peered over the top of his menu at them, and then back at Tanith.  She ignored the faces he was making. 

“Well,” she announced.  “As long as I’m here, I’m ordering something fruity.”  

“Hasn't that pretty much been your mantra every day?” he laughed, reaching his hand out under the table to pat her knee. 

“This is … vacation!” Tanith grinned, shaking her fist at Charlie.  It was a joke they’d started years ago after the whole ‘this is Sparta!’ meme had taken off and now it was a part of their general lexicon.  At first, they used it for everything in their life, such as “This is … Walking Dead!” and “This is … breakfast!” but now the phrase was mostly used for exciting moments in their lives.   Like vacation time.   

Charlie had to admit that the vacation had been going fairly well so far.  It was strange to have the freedom to just lay around for hours on end, not having a specific plan in mind.  He hated to admit it, but even after years of rigorous self-discipline, he could probably get used to this lazy life.  Which was why he had made a point to plan a few island excursions over the last few days.  They’d been para sailing (that was nuts), zip-lining (awesome) and hiking (beautiful), but Tanith finally decided -- _insisted_ , more like -- that they’d _done enough activity_ and _needed to just relax for the day_.

The problem was, Charlie had been using their enforced relaxation to try and catch the Stanley Cup coverage on his iPad, but the WiFi in the hotel was a joke.  And he couldn't find it on their room TV.   _Honestly?_  He thought.   _How could they not have NBC?_    

His irritation dissipated, however, when he realized it gave them a chance to spend the day outside of the resort.  For all her talk of taking it easy, Tanith was feeling a little stir crazy and so was he.  Plus, being at a sports bar did feel a little bit like home.   

Tanith had her head buried in the menu, so Charlie leaned over to study the beer taps.  He didn't usually drink -- elite athletes couldn't really afford the recovery time, or the empty calories -- but, again – _this was … vacation!_ – and if he was ever going to relax and enjoy himself, it was going to be during a hockey game.   

“You know what you want?” he asked as the waitress approached. 

“Mai Tai,” Tanith said. 

“Is this gonna be your new thing?” he grinned.  “I don’t think you've ordered anything but Mai Tais since we’ve gotten here.” 

“Hey,” she smiled back.  “When something’s working, don’t break it.” 

“I think the expression is, ‘If it ain’t broke … don’t fix it,’ but…”  He made a face, rolling his eyes and stage-whispering, “ _Canadians_.”   

Tanith stuck her tongue out at him.

“Are you sure you didn't start drinking without me?” 

“Cut it out,” Tanith said, their waitress looking expectantly between them.  “Go ahead and order, you dork.”

 

 **Hamira Saimin, Lihue, Kauai, HI – 6-9-14  2:25 pm**  

"I never knew you were such a foodie, Meryl," Jenna giggled as she hopped out of their rented Jeep. She had wrinkled her nose when Meryl had pulled up in front of this nondescript storefront.

Meryl, almost defensively, protested, "Hey.  It's authentic!"  

She smiled across at Jenna as she turned the car off and stepped out on her side.

"Anyway.  They're supposed to have the best Hawaiian noodle soup on the island.  They're the highest-rated place on Yelp. They have, like, one review that's not five stars."   
  
"Oh my God.  You're just like an onion!" Jenna giggled.   
  
Meryl grinned. "You mean I stink and make people cry?"  
  
"No, I meant that you have layers -- but sure, crying, let's go with that. What’s Hawaiian noodle soup, anyway?"

“It’s actually called _Saimin_.   It’s basically ramen, and is considered Hawaiian comfort food.  You like ramen, right?” 

“You’re not talking, like, cup-of-noodles, right?”

Meryl laughed.  Most of the time, it was easy to forget that Jenna was so young, but other times, like right now, it practically slapped her in the face.  

“No,” she said soothingly.  “Trust me, it’ll be good.  They use this homemade broth; they put egg and fish cakes and fresh green onion in it … I can’t wait to try it.”   

She didn’t mention that she was looking forward to comparing it to the ramen she’d had in both China and Japan.  According to her research, the Japanese locals claimed that Saimin came from China, and the Chinese locals claimed that Saimin came from Japan.  Either way, it was considered a major staple of Hawaiian cuisine.  She had read you could even order it at McDonalds.  

Not that she was planning on testing that theory.

Whenever Meryl traveled, she enjoyed eating the food and experiencing the sights that the locals would see.  It stemmed from her study and interest in cultural anthropology --or maybe caused it-- but she always wanted to get down to the root of the cultures and learn where traditions and mores began and why.   

In this case, what started out as a simple food search turned into a three hour Wikipedia adventure while lounging on the beach.  Jenna finally had to convince her to put down the iPad for a little bit to go for a swim before their snorkeling appointment that morning.  She had to admit, it had been a fantastic vacation so far.  

She was taking tons of pictures and putting them on Instagram.  

Charlie had insisted he wasn’t going to do that – his trip, he had insisted, wasn’t about “showing off Hawaii” (though she didn’t know what he was talking about – Hawaii was _made_ to show off, she thought.  It was just a gorgeous state, honestly).   

He seemed to think that would be missing the point of the trip.   

===

“I want this to be a trip for Tanith and me to reconnect,” he had insisted on his and Meryl’s flight from Cincinnati to New York the week before, during their Puffs promotional tour.  

“What?” she had asked, perplexed.  “Do you feel you’re not … connecting?”

He had shrugged.  He wasn’t one to generally talk about his relationship, or problems in general.  He’d just as soon make a joke or talk about something inconsequential than open up to you.  She had known she needed to tread carefully if she was going to get anything out of him.   

“It’s just … well,” he had sighed, and she had rolled her eyes at his hemming and hawing.   

“So yeah, there’s been a lot of stress, you know, coming off of Stars on Ice and Dancing with the Stars, and us getting the new house.  I mean,” he had frowned.  “I dunno.  I think Tanith was annoyed I couldn’t be there for the closing.  But it wasn’t really my fault.  I signed off on the power of attorney so my dad could do it, you know?  How did I have time to come back for that?”

Meryl had shrugged, because she agreed.  She didn’t know why it mattered.  They got the house either way, so who would care if he was actually there or not?   

“Anyway,” he had said, sighing.  “We’re all moved in, and I’m just . . .  looking forward to taking some time off, you know?”

“Yeah,” she had replied, yawning.  “Tell me about it.  I’m supposed to meet Maks for dinner tonight, and I have no idea how I’m going to have enough energy for that.” 

“Oh yeah?” Charlie had chuckled, but she didn’t miss the way his jaw twitched when he said that.  “Well.  I’m sure you’ll find a way to keep yourself going.” 

She had wanted to ask him what _that_ was supposed to mean, but she knew that calling him out on it was just asking for trouble.  Charlie hadn’t exactly made it a secret how he felt about her and Maks.  She _knew_. 

Even Maks knew, and when Maks had said something to her about it, she’d been forced to lie and tell him it was nothing.  But it was _something_.  Charlie wouldn’t tell her what, exactly, but he had a problem with Maks, and she knew Charlie didn’t approve of their meeting that night, even _without_ that reaction.

 _But_ _he wasn’t her keeper_ , she had thought furiously, and it wasn’t like Meryl was going to be seeing Maks again anytime soon.  She was going on vacation, and Maks had work commitments keeping him busy pretty much non-stop throughout the summer.  They’d mutually (though mostly by Meryl’s insistence) agreed to keep it casual, because she didn’t really believe in long-distance relationships.  If circumstances brought them together again, well, then, maybe it would be fate.  

But for now – well, if they happened to be available and weren’t dating anyone, and wanted to get together, they would.

===

Here, in Hawaii, she considered herself a free woman.  Which was just _fine_ , more than fine, because honestly, it had been years since she’d been without a boyfriend.  She’d dated Fedor for almost four years, which was _nuts_.  She had spun straight from her breakup with Fedor to _Dancing with the Stars_ \--or, as she called it, her _Maks affair_. 

It was more than just an affair, but less than a relationship.  It was an instant connection--a spark, a friendship – she kept referring to it as a “special friendship,” in interviews, which was the tamest term she could come up with for what they had.  

Even though she was glad to be here with Jenna as a friend, she missed the intimacy and chemistry she’d shared with Maks.  Meryl almost wished that Maks had been available to join her, even if for a couple days.  He had a way of making her body hum that she had never experienced before.

She had to admit, waking up to that kind of treatment every day would be … something else.  But Meryl was nothing if not pragmatic.  She didn’t like long distance relationships.  There was too much potential for the other to feel resentful, or stifled.  She wasn’t sure how Charlie and Tanith had done it for almost a year at the beginning of their relationship.  True, they had been able to see each other at competitions, and visited each other when they could, but Meryl found it hard to call it a true relationship, until Tanith had moved to Michigan to be near him.   

Meryl didn't mean for it to happen, but her mind wandered to Charlie sometimes, without conscious thought.  She wondered what he was up to.  He claimed he planned on spending most of his time at their resort (the resort she had initially booked as well – what were the chances?), so she hadn’t expected to run into him.  Still, the island was small, and with their uncanny ability to think alike, Meryl was almost positive she’d end up seeing him at some point.  Surprisingly, it hadn't happened yet, which made her wonder sourly if they were spending most of the vacation holed up in their room.   _Ugh_.  The last thing she wanted to think about was her partner having sex.   

“Busy, for a Tuesday afternoon,” Jenna remarked as they walked through the door of the restaurant.  

Meryl smiled at her again, a little more strained than before, and followed her in.

  

 **Rob’s Good Times Grill – Lihue, Kauai, HI – 6-9-14  2:58 pm**  

“I think I want another one,” Tanith announced, sliding the empty hurricane glass across the table.  

Charlie eyed her cautiously, while still trying to keep an eye on the television.  The game had already started, and he didn’t want to miss anything.  “You drank that one pretty fast,” he commented. 

“I can handle myself, Charles White,” Tanith admonished with a frown.  “And besides,” she grinned, a little sloppily, making a fist again.  “This is… vacation!”  She slurred her words a little.  It was adorable.

“Sure, sure,” Charlie mollified, continuing to nurse his beer.  It wasn’t so much that he was _worried_ about getting drunk as he was about missing something in the game.  He tended to get a little sloppy himself when he drank too much and had sometimes forgot things.  He wanted to make sure he was paying attention.  After all, it was the finals!  And out of all the sports, hockey was his favorite, so. 

Tanith waved to the server and ordered them both another round.   It seemed like this day was developing a clear direction:   they were both going to be passed out by 5 pm in their hotel room.   

Sometimes he felt like a seventy year old man.

 

 **Hamira Saimin, Lihue, Kauai, HI – 6-9-14  3:17 pm**  

“Oh my God,” gushed Jenna, slurping up the dregs of her Saimin.  “Have I told you how amazing this is?  Because _this_ is amazing.” 

“Only a few times,” Meryl grinned, rolling her eyes.  “Maybe...five.  In about an hour.” 

Jenna grinned back at her, if a little ruefully, so Meryl hastened to add, “And based on the crowd, I think they agree, too.”  She glanced around the room to see that at least two-thirds of the chairs were full, mostly locals stopping off for a quick lunch.   

They’d spent the whole trip like this: adventure sports, swimming, long walks where they talked about nothing.  And now they were here, finishing an amazing, local meal.  Meryl was content. 

“So what’s next?” Jenna asked. 

Meryl shrugged.  She figured they’d just end up going back to the hotel.  She had some reading she wanted to catch up on. 

“Let’s go to a bar!” Jenna exclaimed. 

“How?” Meryl asked, frowning.  “You’re not even legal.”  

So far, all the drinking they’d done was on the resort, where the waitstaff didn’t ID guests.  At least, not such high-profile guests.  Meryl was loath to exploit her newfound celebrity, but it had its moments.  She didn’t think she’d be able to get into a bar with Jenna outside the resort. 

“Are you kidding me?” Jenna said, rolling her eyes.   “ _C’mon._  I have a fake.” 

“What?” Meryl asked.  It’s not like it was unheard of; after all, she’d lived in her sorority house when she was nineteen and twenty – plenty of her sisters had fake IDs.  Meryl never did, but she had a skating career to worry about, plus, she never really drank that much in college anyway.  But Meryl deepened her frown: Jenna had a good gig – she had something to lose if she was caught.  

“Seriously,” Jenna said.  She pulled out the ID, and Meryl snatched it from her hand.   

“Looks pretty good,” she admitted.   

“It better – I paid a grand for that thing two years ago.”  She grinned, then, winking at Meryl.  “Hasn’t failed me yet.” 

“You paid a _grand_ for-” Meryl wailed, though she cut herself off at Jenna’s urgent look.  She dropped her voice to a whisper to continue, “You paid.  A _grand_.  For a fake ID?”

“Hey, quality costs, baby,” Jenna shot back, shrugging.  “New York is the hardest state to fake, and I’ve taken that thing out everywhere in NYC.”

“Fine, fine,” Meryl said, rolling her eyes.  “But if you get caught and I have to bail you out, it won’t be pretty.” 

Jenna jumped out of her seat then, clapping her hands together.  “You’re the best, Meryl!  Besties on vacation!” she exclaimed, then stepped back to take a quick selfie of the two of them.   

“You better not put that on Instagram,” Meryl said, shaking her head.   

 

 **Rob’s Good Times Grill – Lihue, Kauai, Hawaii – 6-9-14  3:36 pm**  

“Check it _out_ , son!  I think we’ve found our place,” Jenna squealed the moment they saw the bar just down the road from the restaurant.

Meryl frowned skeptically.  “This place looks a little … dive-y,” she commented.  “Are you _sure_ you wouldn’t just rather go back to the hotel, have a drink at the pool bar?” 

“And miss out on the local experience?  C’mon Meryl.  We ate local food, now we have to _drink_ like the locals drink.”

Meryl must still have looked unpersuaded, because Jenna had leaned over to her side of the Jeep and lilted, “It’s only _logical,_ ” in a silly, sweet, singsong-y voice.  

“Logical, yeah,” Meryl said, parking the car and stepping out.  “OK, OK.  Let’s do this.”

=== 

The Kings scored their first goal, and the bar erupted in whoops and hollers.  Charlie tried --and mostly failed -- not to scowl into his beer.    He was halfway through the second one and already feeling the buzz.  “We should probably order some food already,” he commented to Tanith, who just grinned and nodded.   

 _She_ was apparently feeling no pain, he thought.

He waved their server over.  Tanith was staring over her right shoulder, into space, so he decided to order for both of them: a few sushi rolls (the selection was pretty bad, but still, better than most bar food) and an ahi tuna salad to share.   

He’d been eating a _lot_ over this vacation and had already gained five pounds, which, when added to the four pounds he’d gained since leaving _Dancing with the Stars_ , was too much.  At this rate, he was going to have to starve himself when he got back to Michigan.  He was kind of glad they were going back into training right away to get ready for _The Ice_ in Japan.  He was going to need it.

“Did you get nachos?” Tanith asked once the server had left.   

“Nope, but you’ll like what I got.”  He decided not to elaborate.  The game had started back up again, and –

“Oh.  My.   _God!_ ” Tanith squawked, standing up.   

 _Holy shit_ , Charlie thought.   _She must be really drunk._    

Before he could ask what was going on, she was running across the bar, and his eyes followed her to see _… Jenna and Meryl_? 

 _Fuck_ , he thought.   _Well, didn’t that figure?_   He had supposed it was only a matter of time, but it was especially odd that they’d end up meeting up in a _local bar_ , of all places.  Neither of them were drinkers.  But.  Then again, _this is … vacation!_ , so the rules had shifted a bit.   

Charlie saw Meryl’s eyes go wide as soon as she spotted Tanith running towards her, but she quickly hid it once Tanith reached them, and pulled her into a tight hug.  Tanith yanked her off the ground and swung Meryl around.  Her squeals were loud enough to be heard across the room, and some of the Kings fans started to grumble, but Charlie watched Meryl deftly lead both girls across the bar, where she’d already spotted him, sitting at the high top table. 

He quickly stood up, pulling over two extra barstools so there would be enough for all of them.  When Meryl arrived, she hugged him right away, whispering into his ear, “Told ya we’d find each other.   _Hashtag, Meryl said it_.” 

He grinned, despite himself, patting her on the back an extra time.  He shook his head at her, then, making a face.  “I think you guys just followed us here,” he joked lamely.  He went over to Jenna after that, and gave her a hug.  “So nice to see you again, Jenna,” he said, squeezing her tightly.   

Jenna was such a sweetheart for joining Meryl in Hawaii.  And if he was being honest, he was _so_ glad she’d came long on this trip instead of Maks, or – God forbid – _Fedor_ , who Charlie was pretty sure had been her original companion when Meryl had planned everything.  Meryl had only been friends with Jenna since _Dancing with the Stars_ , but they had instantly bonded, thick as thieves on set.  Charlie noticed Jenna was calling herself and Meryl “best friends” on Instagram.  Meryl, he noticed with a tiny measure of pride, hadn’t returned the sentiment.

 _Well_.  It didn’t really matter, since Meryl seemed to be enjoying herself, if her many Instagram pictures were any indication.  He had only posted one picture of the trip so far:  a rainbow he had spotted at lunch the other day.  It was too gorgeous not to post.  The rest of his pictures had been mostly of him and Tanith, and Charlie generally preferred to keep his personal life off social media for the most part, so they went un-posted. 

Honestly, though, he wondered how the two girls had ended up finding this place.  It had taken him a little bit of research to find it – looking for a decent sports bar – _any sports bar_ – on Kauai.  It wasn’t exactly a commercialized island, which was why they had chosen it as a destination in the first place.

“So,” Charlie said, once they settled in.  “How’d _you_ guys end up here?”  He was trying to sound casual, but he knew Meryl saw right through him, based on the expression she shot back at him. 

“Listen, Charlie,” Meryl said, lowering her eyes at him.  “If you want, we can find another place to hang out.  I mean, I’d hate to –“ 

“No, no, no!” Tanith burst out, sliding her chair over clumsily to put her arm around Meryl.   “I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever!  We need to hang out!”  She banged her fist on the table.  “This is … vacation!” 

Meryl cocked her head to look back at Charlie, an amused expression taking over.   

“She’s – had a few Mai Tais,” Charlie explained, smiling sheepishly.   

“Yes, more Mai Tais.  That’s what we need!” Tanith exclaimed.  She grabbed Jenna by the arm.  “Come with me!  We must summon our barkeep to make us the cocktail of the Hawaiian Gods!”

“Just club soda for me,” Meryl called out, but they didn’t hear her as they bounded off toward the bar.  Charlie just rolled his eyes in response. 

“Hope you like Mai Tais,” he smirked.

Meryl sighed.  “I wasn’t planning on drinking, but it appears that the situation calls for it.” 

Charlie shot her a look.  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Meryl made a face, widening her eyes.  “ _Well_ … you made such a point of the fact that you were taking this _separate_ vacation, I’ve been doing everything we can to make sure we don’t run into you.” 

“Meryl,” he said in a warning tone.  “You know why I said that.” 

Oh, she _knew_ all right.   Charlie had forced her to come out with him to the Tiffany  & Co. in Troy over _eight months ago_ , when he was picking out the ring to propose with.  He wanted to make sure it was right, and he wanted a woman’s opinion.  Why he couldn’t take his mom or _sisters_ , she didn’t know, but when it came to Charlie, it was impossible to say no.  He’d admitted, back then, that he was going to do it once the Olympics were over.  He’d had this planned forever, apparently.   

Still, something felt off about the whole thing, and she couldn’t explain why.  Charlie was nothing if not stubborn, though, so she knew if he _said_ he was going to do it, he was going to do it.  Tanith -- currently three sheets to the wind -- hadn’t mentioned anything, so Meryl guessed that nothing had happened yet. 

“Well?” she asked, raising her eyebrows.  “I hope to _God_ you weren’t planning to do it here.” 

Charlie sighed dramatically.  “ _No_ , I was not.” 

“Then what’s the problem?” Meryl asked, spuriously.  She glanced over at the bar, where Tanith was gesturing wildly and Jenna was cracking up.  The bartender tossed a bottle over his shoulder in response, and they both started clapping wildly.   

Charlie glanced up at the TV.   _1-0 still._    

“Nothing,” he said, testily.  “I just came here to watch the game for a little bit and now it’s a girls’ party, that’s all.”

Meryl shook her head, disregarding him.  “You know your eyes will be glued to the TV no matter what,” she said.  “We actually did you a favor by coming, because now your drunk _girlfriend_ will be distracted.  I think you owe me.” 

Charlie didn’t miss the extra emphasis she put on the word “girlfriend.”   Meryl could be a real jerk sometimes, he thought.   

He glanced over, taking a good look at her for the first time.  She was wearing a pair of grey short shorts, a flow-y hot pink top, and what looked like the strap of a bikini tied around her neck.  He swallowed without meaning to.   Her hair was pulled back in a long ponytail, but he almost wished it was loose, pulled around her right shoulder like it usually was.  She had the most amazing hair.  He found himself unconsciously pushing his hand through his own hair, but it didn’t feel the same; not since he’d gotten it cut.   

He didn’t have to dignify her with a response, because the other two girls arrived with a set of Mai Tais for the table. 

“This is … vacation!” Tanith grinned as she set the drinks down, the liquid splashing out on the table.   

Meryl didn’t miss how Charlie sighed.  She knew the feeling.  Drunk people could be really annoying, and to top it off, he seemed particularly moody today, but it was hard to tell if it was Tanith, or – she glanced up at the television – the fact that the _Rangers_ were losing.  Or something _else_.  Honestly, it was probably better for him that she and Jenna were there to distract Tanith.   

Maybe he could actually enjoy the game now. 

Meryl held up her hurricane glass with a smile.  “Let’s do a toast.  To vacation!” 

“To vacation!” the other three echoed, clinking glasses. 

“And to … life commitments,” Meryl added, with a smirk and a wink. 

Charlie immediately shot her a glare.  “Life … commitments,” the two girls added in confusion, clinking glasses.  Charlie gripped his tightly, refusing to toast. 

“What does that mean?” Jenna asked, making a face as she took a sip.   

“Oh,” Charlie broke in. “I’m sure she’s referring to us all, um, making major commitments, like school, and, um, Tanith and I buying a _house_ – right?” 

Meryl smiled sweetly.  “Absolutely,” she said, taking a large sip of her drink.  She shuddered as she did it.   _Strong_ , she thought.  Well.  She was going to need it to get through this afternoon. 

===

An hour had passed, and the Rangers were now down by 2-0, which was awful.  The Kings fans on the other side of the bar were getting rowdy, and it was intermission, so they switched the bar audio to top 40 music, some song with a pounding beat and inane, repetitive lyrics.  He didn’t listen to the radio all that much, sticking mostly to the Spotify player on his phone and his iTunes playlists.   

“Oh my God!  This song is _amazing_!” Jenna grinned, setting down her shot glass with a definitive _clink_.  She’d quickly downed her drink and talked Tanith into doing a shot with her.   

 _Fuck_ , at this rate, he was going to be _carrying_ his fiancée into the hotel _.  Err, girlfriend,_ he thought.  _Whatever.  Damn Meryl._  

“Who wants to dance with me?” Jenna asked, jumping off the stool.   

“I’m good,” Meryl said, holding her palm up in the air.   

Tanith practically fell out of the stool, which caused both Meryl and Charlie to jump up, but Charlie reached her first, wrapping one hand around her wrist, and one around her waist.  “You okay there, hon?” he asked gently. 

“Yeah, no—“ Tanith said, brushing away his hand.  She was slurring her words.  

Charlie made a note to himself to cut her off, and he turned with wide eyes to make a cutting motion at Meryl, since they were the only two with the sense to know better at this point.  Meryl nodded in understanding, biting back a smile.     

“I’m gonna – I’m gonna dance with Jenna, OK?”  Tanith pointed her finger at Charlie and it poked into his side.  “Ow,” she said.  “You’re hard.  Like a hard body.  Heh.”  She chuckled to herself. 

“Wow.  OK.  Yeah, sure.  Go for it.”  Charlie rolled his eyes, waving her off with Jenna as he sat back down.  He tipped back the rest of his drink, and debated with himself whether he needed another one.  After all, he had to take care of Tanith.  But he’d taken a while to drink that last one, and the buzz was starting to fade, and, well.  Charlie glanced over at Meryl.  “You want another drink?” 

Meryl gave him a look.  “Really?” she said, leveling her gaze at him.  

“Listen.  This game’s going to shit, so _I’m_ gonna have a beer.”  He grinned at her.  “I’m just trying to be polite, you know.” 

“You can get me a club soda.  I have to drive back to the hotel at some point.” 

“Fair enough,” Charlie nodded, and flagged down the server to order more drinks.  He requested two tall waters for the other girls as well.  They both turned to look to watch the two girls, who were now dancing against each other in the middle of the bar.   

Charlie knew that Tanith tended to get a bit handsy when she was drunk.   

He sighed.  It didn’t really matter, he supposed. Tanith was just having fun, and so was Jenna.  He just didn’t understand the appeal.   

Charlie turned to see Meryl watching them with an amused expression.

“Jenna likes to dance when she’s drinking,” Meryl explained.  “We’ve had a few nights at the hotel bar…” 

“Did _you_ dance with her?” Charlie asked, suddenly interested.  He was trying to imagine his partner, having a few too many rum drinks (probably _two, tops_ ) and dancing with Jenna like it was her job.  Meryl never did _anything_ half-assed, even when she was inebriated.  He’d only seen it a few times, but it had been amusing, watching a drunk Meryl Davis.   

Then again, it was a drunk Meryl Davis that had led them to their first (but, well, not only) kiss, so many years ago. 

“Sure,” Meryl said, breaking him out of his thoughts.  His mind flew in another direction, imagining her in a bikini top and sarong, shimmying her tiny hips against Jenna’s curvy body… 

 _Shit_.  He needed to stop thinking like this.   

Charlie chuckled nervously, glancing up to see if the waitress was coming back with their drinks.  He needed something to do with his hands, now that the food was gone.  

“Of course, then these guys who were there for a bachelor party wanted to join in…”

“What?” Charlie said, his head snapping up.  

Meryl sighed loudly.  She heard and saw the disapproval written all over his face.  “Cut it out, _Dad_ ,” she admonished.  “It’s not like, you know...” she trailed off. 

Charlie shot her a look.   

“I mean, sure, Jenna made out with one of the guys, but…”  She trailed off.   

Charlie wondered if _she_ had as well, but even if Meryl had, it wasn’t like she was going to tell him.  They didn’t talk about that kind of stuff.  Still, it got him to thinking about kissing _again_ , and the very last time his lips had touched hers...

=== 

It was brief; it had happened after their win in Sochi.  The whole thing had been a whirlwind, the days after their win, and felt like they were always surrounded by people, being congratulated, going to this ceremony and that banquet, and then all the press they’d had to do… it was nuts.   

But there’d been a...moment, at the end of one night.  He couldn’t even remember which night it was, but he remembered with perfect clarity how he’d walked her back to the village and stopped in front of her room to give her a hug goodnight.  But instead of pulling her into their usual embrace, their eyes had locked, and he _knew_ – he knew in that moment, _something_ was going to happen, and he knew that she knew, because they could just read each other like that. 

And just like that, she leaned forward, her lips pressing up against his, softly, at first.  They were chapped and dry like his, but his stomach lurched and he felt that weird sensation crawl up his chest and then he was grabbing her face and pulling her closer as he angled his jaw, her lips separating slightly to let his tongue tentatively explore hers…

Just as quickly as it had began, it was over.  His hands rested on her face, their breaths heavy with want, his gut full of trepidation and regret.  He had licked his lips, swallowing hard.  “I… I’m…”   

She had known what he was trying to do; apologize.  Say that they shouldn’t have done that.  They both knew.  She had held her finger up to his lips, gently pressing against them.  He had resisted the urge to kiss it.  To grab her finger with his hand and put it into his mouth, and suck on it…   _Shit_ , he had thought. 

“Good night,” she had whispered, with a look at told him everything and nothing, and slipped into her room.

 ===

That had been the last time, and since then, they hadn’t discussed it.  It was an unspoken understanding between them that the kiss had been a reaction to their win.   

Except that it _wasn’t_. 

He dreaded to admit how many times he’d thought about kissing her when they were on the ice together.  Or when they had been flying to yet another city in the middle of the night for their _Stars on Ice_ tour, her shoulder pressed up against his as she dozed off.   Or at the end of that dance they’d performed together on _Dancing With the Stars_ , her hands on his face, his fingers pressing into the soft skin of her back...   

He had wanted her _so much_ in that moment, to prove that she was his and only his.   

Except that she _wasn’t_. 

Because Charlie had Tanith, his girlfriend, who he was going to propose to.  Tanith, who he shared a house with.   

Tanith, who… _was making out with Jenna?_    

 _What the fuck?_  

“Dude,” Charlie said, standing up, angrily.  “Are you fucking _kidding_ me?” 

“Charlie,” Meryl said in a warning tone.  She grabbed his arm.  “Sit down.”  She frowned at him.  “Let me handle this.  You’re obviously … angry.”   

She stood up, but turned back around quickly, the hint of a smile on her face.  Charlie wanted to hate Meryl in that moment.   

“Angry for a good reason,” she added, trying to look serious, but failing.  He could tell she was amused. 

“You _better_ wipe that look off your face,” he growled.  “And for that, you’re giving us a ride back to the hotel.”  He flagged down the waitress, who still hadn't delivered their drinks, and demanded the check.   

Charlie couldn't remember the last time he’d been so angry.   

He was mortified, honestly.  Here he was, with his almost-fiancée, the supposed love of his life, making out with Meryl’s best friend in a bar.  And shit – he hoped to God they hadn’t been recognized, or _photographed_ , worse yet – because, well, yeah.  That would be just _great_ publicity for them.   He could see the photo caption already:

 _Tanith Belbin, former ice dancer and girlfriend of Olympic Gold Medalist Ice Dancer, Charlie White, spotted making out with DWTS troupe dancer Jenna Johnson while her boyfriend, White, and his ice partner, Meryl Davis, watch from the sidelines.  Could Charlie White and his girlfriend have a kinky secret they’re not talking about?  Maybe a secret Hawaii foursome?_  

Argh.   _No_ , he thought.  They needed to go _now_.  He barely glanced at the check before throwing down a few bills – enough to cover it and then some – because all he could think about was getting back to the hotel.  His face felt like it was burning up.  Meryl had already broken Jenna and Tanith up and had led them gently outside -- though never, he noted, wiping that grin off her face.   

When he stepped out of the bar, he saw that Meryl had pulled up in front of the building, and the two girls were slumped over in the backseat, giggling.  He took a deep breath to calm himself, and looked up at Meryl, as if to say, _You couldn’t separate them?_  

“It wasn’t worth the trouble,” she explained, reading his mind again.  She nodded at the back of the car.  “They were practically falling over each other, and I could barely get them in as it was.” 

“OK,” he said with a resigned sigh, settling into the front seat.  He slumped over, turning his head toward hers.  A tiny smile formed on his face.  “Doesn’t this kind of remind you of Champs Camp?  Two years ago?  When we all went out to karaoke that one night and we were the only ones who weren’t drunk at the end of the night?” 

“Yeah,” Meryl scoffed.  “And everyone called us Mom and Dad for the rest of the time.  That was… _weird_.  But, yeah.” 

“Yeah,” Charlie said, biting down gently on his lip. 

A part of him wished they hadn’t made that pact, _so long ago_ , to preserve their partnership, over any feelings they might have for each other.  They had given into each other fully only _once_ :  years ago, when the bubble of sexual tension had finally popped, and they couldn’t deal with it anymore.  After that night, Meryl had panicked, and the pact had been formed.   

 _Partnership over all else._    

And sure, there had been a few other moments of weakness:  like their post-Sochi kiss, or the kiss they shared after Worlds in 2011 … or, when they’d shared a bed numerous times (but not each other) over the years, too tired to go back to their own rooms, or as a result of exile from their team roommate, due to random hookups (that happened more often than you’d think).   

Needless to say, their relationship was nothing if not _complicated_.  But the one thing that triumphed over it all was their love for each other.  And how much she meant to him.

Sometimes, he wondered why they had been so scared that being together would ruin what they had.   

But he had tried not to think about it, because he had Tanith now, and they were set.  They were going to get married, right?  This was just a bump in the road.  Everyone made mistakes sometimes.  

_Even if…_

Charlie sighed again.  He knew now wasn’t the time to think about it.  As it was, he didn’t even want to share a _bed_ with Tanith, but he had nowhere else to go.  He certainly couldn’t go back with Meryl.  He considered sleeping on the pull-out couch in their room, but knew that would just be awful, and, well, they had a king bed.  He could suck it up. 

There had been a long silence between them in the car, as Charlie became consumed with his thoughts.  Behind them, the two girls had finally stopped giggling, and he noticed that Tanith was passed out, her head draped over to one side.  Jenna looked like she was on the verge of sleep as well, staring out the open side of the car as they drove back to Charlie’s hotel.   

“Where are we going?” Jenna asked sleepily. 

“I have to drop Charlie and Tanith off, then we’re going back home.   To our hotel.”  Meryl’s voice was crisp and pleasant, but Charlie could see the tension in her mouth.

“OK, home,” Jenna said.  “Sounds nice.  I like bed.” 

“Yeah,” Meryl said tersely.

  

**St. Regis Princeville Resort, Princeville, Kauai, HI – 5:16 pm**

“Well.  Looks like I called it,” Charlie said, glancing at his watch when Meryl pulled up in front of the hotel.   

“What’s that?” Meryl asked, as she put the Jeep into park.

“That we’d be back at the hotel and passed out by 5 pm,” Charlie commented.  He glanced towards the backseat again, where both girls had completely passed out.  “Or, you know, one of us, at least.” 

“I guess that makes us a matched set,” Meryl grinned wryly.  “Do you want help getting her up to your room?” 

Charlie couldn’t help himself.  “Is that a proposition, Davis?  Because you heard my girlfriend sometimes enjoys the company of other women?” 

Meryl laughed, throwing her head back, and Charlie couldn’t help but chuckle in response.  “Just trying to help, partner.” 

“I think I can handle it,” he smirked, waggling his eyebrows at her.  “I’m used to _throwing women around_.” 

“If that is a lift joke, you can just get out of the car now, because that was _awful_.”

“Gladly,” Charlie replied, pursing his lips at her.  He paused for a second, though, and reached across the console to grab her hand.  “Hey,” he said.  She looked up at him, her face serious.  He took a deep breath.  “Thanks – for, you know, helping me out today.” 

She squeezed it in response.  “It’s what we do.  We’re partners, right?” 

“Sure.”  He paused.  “Even though,” he shook his head, “if it hadn’t been for _you guys_ showing up, Tanith wouldn’t have made out with Jenna in the middle of the bar.” 

“No, she’d probably be making out with your waitress instead,” Meryl quipped with a straight face. 

Charlie let go of her hand, punching her lightly on the bicep.  “Not funny, Mer.”

“You’re the one that brought it up,” Meryl grinned.  “I’m not the one with a drunk, horny girlfriend.  Are you _sure_ she’s getting it enough?” 

Charlie rolled his eyes.  “I am not having this conversation with you,” he said, stepping out of the car.  “But, for your information, _yes_.” 

“Wow, OK,” Meryl said with wide eyes, genuinely surprised.  “Kind of didn’t expect a response on that.” 

Charlie chuckled dryly.  “Sorry, I’m still – a little sore about today, I guess.”  He came around to the driver’s side of the car, leaning his elbows up against the door.  “I really do appreciate you giving us a ride.  And helping me, uh, break up the girls.” 

Meryl smiled at him, her expression soft.  “I’m glad I could help.”  She chewed on her bottom lip, her fingers running up and down on the steering wheel.  “She just … needs to sleep it off.  Hopefully neither of them will remember anything tomorrow.”

“With luck, yeah,” Charlie said.  He lingered by the door, not quite ready to let her go.  “I, um.  Probably won’t see you until we get back home.” 

“Yeah.” 

“So,” he twisted his lips up, then pressed them together.   

“Good luck with the proposal,” Meryl blurted out suddenly.   

He hadn’t expected it, but he knew that was the issue that was hanging in the air between them.  She knew it was coming, and he knew he was still going to do it.   

Because Meryl was right.  People made mistakes, and, while he knew he was angry at Tanith now, they had come a long way to get here.  And as far as Meryl went, well.  Promises had been made.   

_Partnership above all else._

“Thanks,” Charlie murmured.  He didn’t know what else to say.  He stood in front of her door for a few more seconds.  He knew she was watching him, but he couldn’t get himself to look her in the eyes.  Not with what he wanted to say next.  “I, um…” he breathed.  “Do you, uh… think, um.  Am I…?”   

She knew what he was asking.   _Was he doing the right thing?_  

“Yeah,” she said quickly.  “It’ll be fine.”  Her breath hitched slightly, though.  He could hear it.  He swallowed hard, trying to ignore the pain that had started to settle in his chest.   

He looked up at her face, finally, and saw her staring back at him intently.  They didn’t say anything for several long moments. 

“Um, OK,” he mumbled, his head tilting up toward the front entrance.  “I should, uh…” 

“Charlie,” Meryl cut in, grabbing his forearm.   

He turned back quickly to look at her.  The expression on her face nearly broke his heart in two.   

“I just …” She pressed her lips together tightly.  “I love you, OK?” 

Charlie sighed, and his pain in his chest grew stronger.  His hand came up to her face and he pulled it against his forehead.  “Meryl,” he whispered.  “I will _always_ love you.  And … I’m…”  He swallowed again, unable to finish. 

She shook her head, her forehead rubbing against his.  “I know,” she said.  “I know.”  The words hung in the air, unspoken, but understood. 

_I’m sorry._

_I’m sorry, too._  

He pulled her forehead down and kissed it tenderly, stroking her hair as he did so.  As they broke apart, he looked at her sadly.  “I should take Tanith up, I guess.”   

“Yeah,” Meryl replied, pressing her lips together again.   

He could tell she was upset.   

“Anyway.  I think we’re starting to piss off the valets, here,” he chuckled, attempting to lighten the mood.   

She laughed dryly in response, but he knew it was mostly to humor him.  He stepped around the car to pull out his sleeping girlfriend, who managed to wake up as he did so.  Charlie scooped Tanith up in his arms, nodding at Meryl as she drove off. 

===

Two days later, Charlie proposed to Tanith.  It was time to move forward.  

_Partnership above all else._

 


End file.
